footprints of life

How many of you actually always have a camera with you?  Or in possession of a cameraphone?

Yup, I saw some hands back there, and also one here.  Ehemmm….probably a bit on the extreme side, I happen to have a small camera AND 2 (two) cameraphones with me in my so-called purse (ugh…hate the word, not to mention that IT couldn’t be called a purse because of its sheer size…let’s call it my handy bag, instead).

And recently, I found one goody thing about having a camera/cameraphone handy…being a girl that is, I can transform it (errr…them..) into an instant visual shopping list, yay!  

The problem started ~ wait, it was not a problem then, it was an opportunity, LOL ~ when I am ’stranded’ in this place, where most of the population doesn’t speak English (nor Indonesian, nor Javanese, in case the earlier statement failed to illustrate how dire my situation had been), and I was (err…actually still am) in a serious need of a pair of nail-clippers.  Yeah, a very simple thing.

My first thought was to run to the nearest pharmacist and ask them if they have anything like that. But then again, what if I can actually find it in a supermarket?  Or cosmetic shop?  Or it is located in some unfathomable department in that ever crowded Shumaila Hari super store (emmm…it’s like the Meijer or Matahari or Carrefour of Sana’a, Yemen)?  Then, where would I end up?  

Next idea was to search an image of the said nail clippers on Google and print it out.  But thanks to the ever present power cut, the images were nicely stored in my hard disc and I had not managed to print them out just yet.

And then it dawned on me some random article on photography knick-knack I read a couple of months back, and I had a revelation.  Dummy! Of course I can take a picture of that picture (err…still following me?), and bring it with me, how smart!

So here I am, with a pair of nail clippers as the wallpaper of my phones, but alas, I have not managed to get to one of those shops, yet.  Thanks to the pile of Arabic homeworks.  Maybe next time.

But hey, a good idea deserves some bragging, right?

In case some of you are interested to see what other ideas are out there, here is the link to the original article about the other uses of your camera. Cheese!

Sana’a, Yemen

June 24, 2009

Seminggu kemudian, aku pusing menghadapi setumpuk huruf yang bukan cuma harus dihapalkan, juga harus disambung-sambung dan dibaca dengan lancar….aduh mak…

Selamat datang di dunia pelajaran Bahasa Arab.

Yah, betul, anda tidak salah dengar baca. Hari ini dengan resmi ditutup hari ke-5 aku duduk manis 3 jam setiap hari di Yemen Language Center / Yemen College for Middle Eastern Studies di Sana’a, untuk belajar Bahasa Arab. Guru-gurunya semangat banget, saking semangatnya, dalam waktu dua hari aku sudah diberi buku ke-2, padahal ngapalin alif, ba, ta aja masih kerepotan. Tapi sedih juga sih…soalnya belum bisa belajar yang lain-lain sebelum bisa baca huruf Arabnya, alias, sudah seminggu belajar aku baru bisa bilang "assalamualaikum" (yah, itu sih dari Indonesia juga udah bisa, hihihi….), "selamat pagi" sama "apa kabar"… oya, sama "namamu siapa?", hahaha… Masa ngobrol sama orang, habis nyapa selamat pagi, gimana kabarnya, siapa namanya, terus macet…. Ujung-ujungnya cuma bisa bilang "qalas"…alias cuma bisa segitu aja, hahaha, sambil cengar-cengir.

Masih ada dua minggu lagi… SEMANGAT!! Dan berharap semoga minggu depan sudah bisa ngomong sedikit, paling nggak sama sopir taksi.  Lah, masak dianter-jemput 20 menit sekali jalan, nggak ngobrol apa-apa.  Ya itu tadi, habis bilang selamat pagi, apa kabar, terus sepi deh…hahaha…

Wish me luck ya, temans!

Sana’a, 24 Juni 2009

After trying massage, hot pad, balms…..and simply trying to fall asleep for 2 straight days… and finally, I got a good worth of a good night sleep after popping in 2 caplets of Panadol Extra.  Phew….

Today I realized that my text message inbox had hit over 1000 messages – again.  It’s time to start deleting.

As I went through the messages – some of them contained addresses and details I want to keep, so, yes, I am doing it the hard way – flood of memories surged through my brain.

Thoughts about random Italian dinner prepared by our enthusiastic Italian chef Teresa, appointments on reviewing previous week’s salsa moves with Steve, random notes in three languages with Nat, dancing appointments @ Café Habana with Alicia, confirmation on volunteering activities with Rosana, movies, walks, coffees, cultural festivals, I-love-you-s, see-you-tomorrow-s, good-luck-s, South Park, keg parties, grocery shopping, house on fire, midnight rendezvous, mochi ice cream…. Story of a lifetime fleeted before my eyes.  And what a wonderful life it had been.

And I cannot thank you well enough, though I cannot tell you face to face. 

Thank you for opening the door for me.  Thank you for giving me a chance to create beautiful memories to last me a lifetime.

And to a very dear friend, who magically found me and pushed me over the limit almost 4 years ago, thank YOU.

For none of these would have been possible without ‘the chance meeting’ with you.  If you had not jerked me away from the life I thought I had wanted all along, I would have been another ‘normal’ person, and you were right… I would have been bound to be unhappy.  So…thank you, Gatotkaca.

Though sad I am, not to be able to tell you in person, I am sure you are out there somewhere, inspiring people.  Just the way you had inspired me.

 May 31, 2009

Hey there, please don’t say the L word.

The L word does not have a place in our relationship. You and I, we should never even think of that L word. It is just so out of place.

I know the word used to be so familiar for you, and I guess, for me, too. But I don’t want to hear it, not from you, not anymore.

Don’t you know how dangerous that L word is? Can’t you see how that L word gets into your brain and clouds your judgment? Can’t you see how beautiful the world could be without that L word in your world?

Please promise me, don’t you ever say that L word again… at least, not when you are with me. No, no more of that L word. You simply have no right to say it, not to me, ever ever again.

Because, My Dear, you are not what you thought you were. You deserve so much more…. so so much more, than just that L word.

So, look me in the eye, and say it out loud, “I am a winner. I am strong. I am special, and I deserve to be loved.”

Say this L word, My Dear, not that one. For you deserve to believe this L word, not that one.

Salatiga, May 18, 2009.

Pertanyaan yang bagus, ya… apa salahnya bilang partner?  Nggak ada yang salah sih, tapi di tempat-tempat tertentu, ternyata bisa menimbulkan lirikan mata penuh arti, alis yang terangkat sepersekian millimeter, pertanyaan berputar di kepala orang lain.

Mau tahu?

Salah satu kebiasaanku adalah tidak pernah mengatakan ‘pacar’ alias ‘boyfriend’ ketika berbicara tentang masku.  Alasannya simple aja, sejak pertama jalan, dia sempat bilang bahwa ‘we are kind of too old to say boyfriend/girlfriend’, hahahaha.  Lucu ya, tapi bener juga sih, jadi kami memang jarang aja menyebut satu sama lain sebagai pacar.  Jadi sejak pertama, memang kebiasaan kami menyebut satu sama lain sebagai ‘partner’.

Sekitar setahunan yang lalu, sempat juga sih ada teman dari Jogja yang tanya lewat sms ketika mau ketemuan sama aku dan partnerku, ‘he or she?’, hahaha.  Sempat aneh juga ketika menerima sms itu, masa sih nanya gitu, ketika udah kenal aku bertahun-tahun, tapi yah kumaklumi aja.

Tapi ketika berada di US, pertanyaan terus terang gitu sih tidak pernah terlontar langsung, soalnya kalau di sana kan tidak ‘politically correct’, apalagi urusan orientasi seksual memang bukan urusan orang lain.  Tapi salah satu persitiwa paling menarik adalah ketika aku ikutan rombongan volunteer ke New Orleans, seminggu runtang-runtung bersama 19 orang lain dari berbagai usia dan latar belakang, meskipun semua disatukan oleh hubungan kami dengan University of Michigan. 

Ngobrol punya ngobrol kesana kemari, apalagi naik mobil lebih dari 24 jam dari Ann Arbor ke New Orleans, tentu saja percakapan menyentuh topik-topik pribadi.  Setelah beberapa hari bersama, kerja dari pagi sampai sore bersama, makan bersama, jalan-jalan bersama, tak bisa dihindari muncul pembicaraan tentang pasangan. 

Dan ketika aku mengatakan, ‘My partner was here for winter break, and we went to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon, it was great,’ tiba-tiba kurasakan Mike, salah satu peserta rombongan termuda yang usianya masih di bawah 21, mendongak kaget.  Tanpa bisa menyembunyikan rasa penasaran dan kagetnya, dia jelas-jelas menatap mukaku sambil menaikkan sebelah alisnya.  Aku rada bingung, apanya yang salah ya….  Sepanjang perjalanan yang 24 jam itu, kami duduk sebelahan dan udah ngobrol ngalor ngidul, dan dia udah denger kok soal Vegas, lha kok bingung gitu…

Sepersekian detik kemudian, baru aku menyadari, apa kira-kira yang membuat dia kaget.   Langsung saja kuteruskan kalimatku, ‘Unfortunately HE could not stay in Ann Arbor too long, so I could not show him around,’ sambil kulirik Mike penuh arti.  Rupanya dia menangkap bahwa ‘klarifikasi’ itu memang kutujukan kepadanya.  Dia langsung tertawa lebar, sambil berkata, “Sorry… I was just curious…”

Geli juga sih, tapi mungkin itu juga yang terlintas di kepala beberapa orang yang mungkin tidak terlalu kenal aku dengan baik, dan hanya mendengar aku berbicara tentang “partner”ku.  Beberapa orang yang kenal baik sih menganggap kami sedikit ‘modern’ karena memakai istilah tersebut.

Kadang aku penasaran, kira-kira apa ya, yang terlintas di pikiran mereka kalau saja mereka ngobrolin soal pasangan pas aku pakai mitten-ku yang super warna warni….warna pelangi bo’ (dan waktu beli dikomentarin sama teman deketku yang lagi ambil Masters of Social Work…, “the color is so LGBT”…hahaha….).  Apa nggak tambah bingung mereka…. hahaha….

Jadi kesimpulannya, kalau suka pernak-pernik warna pelangi, dan suka menyebut pasangan sebagai ‘partner’….ehemm….siap-siap aja deh, untuk menjelaskan, “Maksud loe?”

There is nothing wrong to be LGBT, why not.  It is nobody’s business.  But it is interesting on what conclusion do people come to through verbal and non-verbal ‘clues’.

Just a random note.  A small conversation with a good friend of mine a couple of weeks ago.

He told me that he had just recently experienced falling in love.  How sweet    I was really happy for him.  But that’s not what I want to write about.

It was a bit unfortunate that he fell in love with someone who was leaving his country, LOL…rings a bell?  That’s the problem when you are involved with people internationally, sorry dude.  But then he said that one thing he took away from the short ‘affair’ was that he came to appreciate and respect sappy couples.  Eh?

Yeah, sappy couples who couldn’t get off of each other.  Holding hands.  Wrapping their arms around each other. Kissing in public. Can’t seem to get enough of touching each other.   (Err….please remember that the context is the USA…not Indonesia, okay?)

At first, I was laughing out loud the first time he said that.  Well, honestly, I am among those people who look at those sappy couples with a bit of a critical eye.  I remember the first time I saw people kissing in a public park in Brussels, and how I shrank away from the sight.  But then I realized, that from time to time, I would envy them.  I did, I did envy those people.

The thoughts of being young, spontaneous, expressive and in love.  I envy them.  I know that in most cases, in various places where I had lived in, those things are not applicable. 

But from time to time, I am asking myself, are we (my partner and I) so ‘trainable’?  We spent years of dating period either being away from each other, or being in a place where ‘being close’ carries so much more of other significance than just being in love.  Are we so trainable that being physically close to my own partner in public feels rather ‘wrong’? 

Sometimes I am wondering, what do people see when people see us together?  What does our body language say about our relationship?

Oh, I almost forgot, the reason why my friend became more respectful to sappy couples was because he himself became rather sappy towards the end of the relationship.  I sure understand, she flew half way across the world, away from him, with no logical ways of possibly ever seeing each other again.  Oh well, that’s love.  And oh… how I miss my good friend…